The bottom line: it's worth the splurge

Everyone knows that there are a number of things you can save a few bucks on here and there by buying generic or store brands. It would be reasonable, I think, to save a couple bucks this way when buying cookies, juice, air freshener, sponges, car wax, glue, etc., etc., etc.

However, there are two things that, in my opinion, must not be skimped on:
1. Breakfast Cereal - especially frosted flakes. I once tried the ones you get in a big bag. They tasted like they had been - what's the right term here - previously digested. They were horrible. But that's not what I'm talking about today.
2. Toilet Paper - I don't care how manly I'm supposed to be, I simply don't like wiping my butt with sandpaper. And conversely, I'm not a big fan of using tissue paper that shreds to pieces leaving my - here comes that term again - previously digested material all over my fingers. It is this topic which I am addressing today.

I've been quite happy with my "bathroom tissue" purchases over the past few years. I seemed to have settled on Purex as my brand of choice, they've got the cute little pillows flying around in their commercial. On a recent trip to the grocery store, I was in the "personal paper products" section and I remembered that I was running low. As I look for the best value on Purex, I noticed that the package I wanted had run out on the shelf. I looked around at some other options, and I noticed a promotion on another brand that I hadn't tried before. The price was slightly better, due to the promotion, but as I've already established, one should be willing to pay extra for the royal rump treatment. Hesitantly, I grabbed a 32-roll pack of this other brand's toilet paper.

When I recently changed rolls and used this new brand, I discovered something remarkable. Charmin Extra Strong is like wiping your arse with a soft, yet strong, sponge. This stuff is AMAZING! In fact, even if you were to spend more on this, you'd likely still save money, as the squares go much further. I find myself using just 3 squares for jobs that previously would've warranted a good 5-6 squares (you know the kind of jobs I'm talking about). And even with the smaller number of sheets, there seems to be no risk of the stuff disintegrating in your hands. I'm about ready to write these guys and tell them they've made the best thing onto which I've ever wiped my excess feces! (That could be a bigger claim for some to make than others.)

I only have one problem with this: their commercials! Have you seen these ones with the cartoon bears? The latest ones, for exactly the variety (does it seem odd to anyone that they have varieties of bathroom tissue?) that I'm using, show a father bear playing football with his son, and as the son bends over to hike the ball, the father bear sees little pieces of toilet paper scattered around on the young cub's caboose. You know, I dislike having little bits of paper stuck to my buttocks as much as the next guy, however I don't think I've ever been concerned that someone might see them while playing football. (Mind you, I've never played football at a naturalist retreat.)

Oh, and pun intended, by the way.

Cha, cha, cha... Charmin!