How long could you survive in the vacuum of space?

I took this 6 question quiz and was amazed at how long I would actually survive! I'm sure it wouldn't be the most pleasant 77 seconds of my life. How long would you survive? Take the quiz and write your answer in the comments.


OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

HEAR I go again...

That's right, it's time for another rant. I think I've made my feelings fairly clear about how important I feel proper grammar is to our society. Until now, however, I've been referring to the use of this blessed English language by the populace at large. It is now my displeasure to present to you a much more insidious and mind-blowing lunacy, one of proportions the likes of which could only be conjured up by the most Tarantino-esque of minds. I speak, of course, of the professional Newspaper editor.

I was sitting in a nearby Arby's restaurant for lunch today, and there was a copy of the Lethbridge Herald sitting on the table. As I was eating, I read a few articles and I eventually got to the editorial section, which in this high-class publication is affectionately titled "Opinions". The editor wrote an article, Graffiti is clearly not art in this city, about the new local bylaw being enacted to reduce vandalism in the city, commonly known as the Lethbridge Graffiti Bylaw. I have no qualms with the intended content of the article. The unnamed editor had some good points to share, and the thought progression seemed to flow quite naturally. The problem is in the manner in which those thoughts were put into words. I will pull a few lines here to demonstrate my point.

The article opens with:

Make no mistake, graffiti — at least in Lethbridge — is vandalism, plain and simple. And for those who don’t subscribe to that theory, we’ve got minimum $10,000 fines and up to six months in jail that say otherwise.

The second sentence certainly relies enough on the first that it is not strong enough to break the rule of not starting sentences with "And". Furthermore, who is the "we" that has these fines and jail terms for non-subscribers? That sounds a little too much like pushy newspaper marketing for my likes. Moving on:

Seem a bit harsh? Perhaps. But the reality is council needed to take a strong stand and back cleanup efforts with more than rhetoric — the time had come for a dramatic deterrent.

Is "Seem a bit harsh" a sentence on it's own? No! Does what seem a bit harsh? Neither should the following sentence begin with "But". A comma, when used correctly, is a wonderful tool to help convey a clear message. I'm not even going to start on the incorrect use of the hyphen in this example. I could be here all day!

One doesn’t have to look far from home, regardless what part of the city you reside, to view the growing scourge on our neighbourhoods.

I wonder what part of the city I reside. Also, shouldn't it be "You don't have to look far..." if you're going to continue with the second person narrative in the second half of the sentence?

Then there’s also the highly questionable fines of between $500 and $2,000 for those possessing graffiti-making materials.

Is it just me, or does the phrase "Then there's also" seem a little redundant? Using either "then" or "also" would've been plenty sufficient. And correct me if I'm wrong, but "there's" should refer to the existence of a single thing, whereas "fines" is plural. (Wow, a sentence can begin with "And" if it's independent enough from the preceding sentence.)

Finally, the conclusion:

Hopefully the message the new bylaw sends will be heard loudly and clearly enough to have to the desired effect of curtailing or eradicating the problem — otherwise, we could be looking a whole new kind of mess.

I shudder at this hyphen, but there is something far worse here. Reading this article, I'm already "looking [at] a whole new kind of mess."

It's not the fact that there was an error in the newspaper that bothers me. Rather, it's the fact that there were so many glaringly obvious errors in such a short article, that was written by an editor, that really gets my blood boiling. Here is someone whose profession it is to write and oversee the writing in a supposedly professional publication. I know I may be overreacting here, but it occurs to me that if I performed my job with such haphazard disregard, I wouldn't make it a week before being fired, and likely banned from any further employment in the field.

Kudos to the Lethbridge Herald; you've really outdone yourselves this time!

Warning: THEIR is a rant coming...

The time has come for my first official blog rant regarding grammar! I am getting so tired of seeing the words "there", "they're" and "their" mixed up. It's really not that difficult. There's also the issues of "then" and "than", "your" and "you're", and the apostrophe conundrum. Let me begin:

There - They're - Their

There: opposite of "here"; has many uses not including those for "they're" and "their".

They're: contraction for "they are"; if the sentence means the same if you interchange "they're" and "they are", then you can use "they're", but you should not use "there" or "their".

Their: belonging to them; when referring to something as belonging to "them", it would be acceptable to use the word "their".

Then - Than

Then: it follows that; "Then" can be used to indicate chronological sequentiality, conditional effects, or any other resultant situation.

Than: compared to; when a characteristic is placed in comparison to something else, either explicit or implicit, "than" can be used.

Your - You're

Your: belonging to you; much like "their", but the possessor is "you" as opposed to "them".

You're: contraction for "you are"; if the sentence holds its meaning when replacing "you're" with "you are" then you should not use "your".

Apostrophe

Contraction: there are a variety of situations where two words can be combined into one, and an apostrophe is used in place of omitted letters.

Possessive: when referring to a possessive situation, an apostrophe is placed at the end of the possessor followed by an "s", unless the word already ends in "s" in which case there is no additional "s" added. Exception: "Its" is possessive. ("It's" is a contraction for "it is".)

There are other apostrophe rules, but these should cover 99% of situations.

I have a few other grammar rules about which I'm rather anal, but I'll leave those for another day.

- Grammar Nazi

(P.S. Did you catch the rule that I awkwardly followed in my last sentence?)

The bottom line: it's worth the splurge

Everyone knows that there are a number of things you can save a few bucks on here and there by buying generic or store brands. It would be reasonable, I think, to save a couple bucks this way when buying cookies, juice, air freshener, sponges, car wax, glue, etc., etc., etc.

However, there are two things that, in my opinion, must not be skimped on:
1. Breakfast Cereal - especially frosted flakes. I once tried the ones you get in a big bag. They tasted like they had been - what's the right term here - previously digested. They were horrible. But that's not what I'm talking about today.
2. Toilet Paper - I don't care how manly I'm supposed to be, I simply don't like wiping my butt with sandpaper. And conversely, I'm not a big fan of using tissue paper that shreds to pieces leaving my - here comes that term again - previously digested material all over my fingers. It is this topic which I am addressing today.

I've been quite happy with my "bathroom tissue" purchases over the past few years. I seemed to have settled on Purex as my brand of choice, they've got the cute little pillows flying around in their commercial. On a recent trip to the grocery store, I was in the "personal paper products" section and I remembered that I was running low. As I look for the best value on Purex, I noticed that the package I wanted had run out on the shelf. I looked around at some other options, and I noticed a promotion on another brand that I hadn't tried before. The price was slightly better, due to the promotion, but as I've already established, one should be willing to pay extra for the royal rump treatment. Hesitantly, I grabbed a 32-roll pack of this other brand's toilet paper.

When I recently changed rolls and used this new brand, I discovered something remarkable. Charmin Extra Strong is like wiping your arse with a soft, yet strong, sponge. This stuff is AMAZING! In fact, even if you were to spend more on this, you'd likely still save money, as the squares go much further. I find myself using just 3 squares for jobs that previously would've warranted a good 5-6 squares (you know the kind of jobs I'm talking about). And even with the smaller number of sheets, there seems to be no risk of the stuff disintegrating in your hands. I'm about ready to write these guys and tell them they've made the best thing onto which I've ever wiped my excess feces! (That could be a bigger claim for some to make than others.)

I only have one problem with this: their commercials! Have you seen these ones with the cartoon bears? The latest ones, for exactly the variety (does it seem odd to anyone that they have varieties of bathroom tissue?) that I'm using, show a father bear playing football with his son, and as the son bends over to hike the ball, the father bear sees little pieces of toilet paper scattered around on the young cub's caboose. You know, I dislike having little bits of paper stuck to my buttocks as much as the next guy, however I don't think I've ever been concerned that someone might see them while playing football. (Mind you, I've never played football at a naturalist retreat.)

Oh, and pun intended, by the way.

Cha, cha, cha... Charmin!